I never thought I’d someday be thinking of exchanging my time in Jeddah for someone. I’m so confused. I must really be falling and it scares me. I don’t know if I should just let myself fall or stop. Right now it feels like I could be giving in anytime. I’ve guarded myself for so long and I don’t want to bring my walls down for someone who isn’t sure. Ironically, I still think of the other when I shouldn’t be.